Listening In
by 93wizard
Summary: A one-shot set after the war, the boys decide to listen in to the girls conversation and get more then they ever wanted to hear.


**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter and all of the characters belong to J.K Rowling.

The show Misfits is also real and not fictional as is Tom Felton's song (_If I could be anywhere_)

**Listening in**

A year after the war ended, all the boys and girls decided to go on a camping trip on the hill beside the Burrow.

The girls consisted of Hermione who was with Ron at the time; Ginny with Harry, Angelina with Fred, Katie with George, Penelope with Percy, Fleur with Bill and Loralaine who was from Australia was with Charlie.

The girls were in one tent and the boys in another.

The boys were lounging around the tent when Fred said

'I wonder what girls talk about'

'When their alone in tents' finished George.

They had identical cheeky, mischievous grins on their faces. Harry instantly looked worried.

"What are you thinking?" He said nervously.

Fred: 'Well we were thinking'

George: 'On listening in'

Ron: "why would we want to know what they're saying, it's not like it would concern us?"

Charlie: "come one Ron you know…"

Fred: "yeah you know Ronniekins"

Percy: "Ron they talk about sexual activities, masturbation and boys or more specifically us."

George: "Don't forget periods"

Harry and Ron: "Ewwwww"

Bill: "Why don't we listen in then, do you have any ideas?"

Fred and George: "Extendable ears"

….. They sent up the ears and are waiting for the conversation to be interesting.

Loralaine: "Did you mean Percy Weasley?"

Hermione: "No! Percy Jackson! Mhmm hmmmm"

Ginny: "The HOTTEST demigod ever!"

….

Harry: "A demigod. What's that? Do I have to fight it?"

Ron: "He's the son of Poseidon and he's smoking hot!"

Boys: "What!?"

Ron: "What? It's what Hermione told me! What's smoking hot mean anyway?"

Collective face palm

…..

Meanwhile, the girls have moved on to a much more interesting topic…

Penelope: "Oh my god guys do you know what that looks like?"

Fleur: "What?"

Ginny: (giggling): " It looks like a penis."

Hermione:" yeah look at the hairs eww"

(Boys all wonder what it is)

Loralaine: "eww ahah have you guys seen that show misfits?"

Fleur:" I think I might have seen that is that the one with the Irish guy?"

Loralaine: "yeah remember that scene when Alisha was on the bench. (acts out scene: " and then she sat on his dad's gear stick for like 20 minutes" Loralaine makes orgasm noises)

…

Boys sit dumbfounded

Charlie: "what is my girlfriend doing?"

Bill: "Better question, what show is that it sounds good?"

(Girls have moved on after fits of laughter)

Hermione: "when you're in beds he shy?"

Ginny: "eww that's my bro"

Fleur: "Most of the boys we will talk about tonight are your brothers. "

Loralaine: "what do you mean Hermione?"

Hermione: "Well when Ron and I are making love, he always gets really nervous, throughout the whole thing for example he fumbles when taking off my clothes and goes bright red when I take off his clothes. He also really shy of his size though he doesn't need to be" she winks.

…

Ron is the typical Weasley red

George: "Getting a bit nervous in the sac eh Ronnie"

Fred: "at least you don't need to be worried about your size."

Fred disappears behind a well-aimed pillow.

Ron: "shut it twins"

Penelope: "Really? Percy's the opposite he always has to be on top and always tells me what to do and not in a good way."

Fleur: "withdraw sex until he's nicer to you"

…

Charlie: "yeeeaaah be nice Percy."

(boys all snigger))

Percy: "stop being so immature." (stops mid-sentence because he realises he's being bossy)

…

Katie: "seeing as we're on the topic I might as well comment. George always does this move where he …. You know."

Angelica: 'OMG Fred does the same thing. "

Fred: "what do you do?"

George "NO what do you do?" The twins face off with questioning looks.

Collective chuckle

…

Ginny: "Did you know that when things are heating up in the bedroom, Harry's scar lights up."

Hermione: "Really that's kinda weird."

Ginny: "it kind of turns me on."

Fleur: "Do you know what turns me on, Bill does this thing that when he comes… he howls."

Boys all howl

Bill is the Weasley red

Fred: "Wait we've forgotten Harry's scar lights up"

Harry: "I'm the chosen one."

….

Loralaine: "do you know hat I find a little bit weird about Charlie is he has this tattoo on his bum…"

Hermione: "what is it?"

Katie: "you have to tell us now"

….

Charlie: "don't say anything Loralaine come on please"

Boys: "whoo come on Loralaine."

….

Loralaine: "well its two dragons…."

Angelina: "yeah…."

Loralaine: "having sex ahaha. "

Girls: "ahhhhh"

…..

Bill: "what just why?"

Charlie: "I was drunk"

Ron: "I think it captures a magical moment between two mystical creatures."

Harry: "does it light up my scar?" He asked hopefully.

…

Angelina: "so girls who is your dream guy other than the one you're with" she asks looking at Katie.

Katie: "ohh I love this game! Though I'm not going first."

Penelope: "I will go first it doesn't really matter cause you won't know him, he was this guy in my year called Augustus, Ravenclaw as well by the way, but he had a girlfriend named Hazel, so that never went anywhere"

Ginny: "aw well at least you have Percy now. "

Penelope: "yeah I do, ok I've said mine who's next?"

Hermione: "Fine I will, ever since I once heard Draco singing in the prefects bathroom, I remember some of the lyrics" if you could be anywhere would you be there with me" I tried looking up the song but I couldn't find it so I think he wrote it himself. I have always wondered what it would be like having him sing for me" she finished blushing.

Ginny: "really I always thought you hated him since you punched him in the face."

Hermione: "well yeah but I've always wondered what it would be like being with the bad boy."

Ginny: "I get that cause mine is Sirius Black'

Girls: "WHATT!"

Ginny: "yeah! he was always really funny and he has a flying motorbike for merlins sake."

Fleur: 'oh yeah that's true, but Bill is pretty wild enough for me which is why mine is Neville."

Katie:" Are you serious. Hehe Sirius get it!"

Fleur:" Moving on he is the cutest guy ever he is so nice, and courageous too did you see him at the battle of Hogwarts."

Angelina: "well yeah he did look pretty hot then."

Hermione: "Who's yours Angelina or Katie? Whoever".

Katie and Angelina at the same time: "Oliver wood."

Katie: "really you liked Oliver I would never have known."

Angelina: "yeah same! Ahah I guess we do like the same men. "

…

Fred: "but George and I are noticeably different"

George: "yeah I don't wanna be the same as you you're ugly."

Harry: "you both look the same so shut it. So Hermione likes Draco, Ginny likes Sirius (shudders) Fleur likes Neville, Katie and Angelina like Oliver, Penelope and that Augustus kid, so who does that leave?"

Charlie: "Loralaine."

….

Penelope: "Loralaine I think you're the last one."

Loralaine: "well like you Penelope you all probably wouldn't know my boy seeing as he lived in Australia."

Ginny: "keep going."

Loralaine: "His name was Cletus and we were 10 just before I became a witch and we had been friends since forever and he was really nice. I had always had a crush on him and I remember when we were seven he made me a Pavlova. I have always wondered what would have happened if I was still friends with him."

Katie: "why weren't you friends?"

Loralaine: "well when mum and dad found out I was a witch they moved me to England and I actually went to Hogwarts with Charlie though we only really started to talk when we were working in Romania."

...

Fred:" looks like you have competition Charlie."

George: "Yeah but can you imagine Loralaine and Cletus" he said the last part in a really bad Australian accent.

Charlie: "I had competition but you better watch out for your girlfriends I hear Oliver's coming to town next month."

Fred and George went red. But still managed to poke their tongues out at Charlie.

Percy: "I think we should make the decision to never listen in ever again."

Harry: "Yeah I don't want Ginny telling any more secrets!"

Ron: "what are your secrets"

Bill: "I agree with Percy lets drop this topic and never bring it up again deal"

Boys: "deal"

There is a knock on the boy's tent and Charlie opens it to see the girls.

Katie: "so what have you guys been doing?"

Ron: "Nothing" (cough)

Angelina: "okay well were thinking of heading to the lake you guys up for it?"

After everyone nods they start to head to the lake.

Charlie: "Will there be clothes?"

Hermione: "that's an idea, lets skinny dip"

George:" well we all know Ron has nothing to worry about!"

Ginny: "what?"

Bill: "Nothing" (glares at George before pushing him in the lake)

Fred: "yeah no one get Harry turned on" (Fred yells before dive bombing into the lake)

Loralaine: "what did he say?"

Percy: "I didn't hear anything lets just get into the water" (he states before diving into the pool)

Hermione: "boys are weird"

Penelope: "True dat sister"

Everyone else gets in the pool and the boys never listen in to any of the girl's conversations ever again.

xxx Please review :)


End file.
